Dukat: Captain, are you aware there's a Klingon on your bridge?

----

Quark: [pulls out a bottle and pours into a glass] I want you to try something for me. Take a sip of this.
Garak: What is it?
A Human drink. It's called root beer.
Ah, I don't know, I uh...
Come on... Aren't you just a little bit curious?
[Garak sighs, picks up the glass, sips] MM! [jerks his head back, quickly puts glass down again]
What do you think?
It's vile!
I know. It's so bubbly, and cloying, and happy.
Just like the Federation.
But you know what's really frightening? If you drink enough of it, you begin to like it.
It's insidious.
Just like the Federation.

---

David
Sitting on my butt while others boldly go,
Waiting for a message from a small furry creature from Alpha Centauri.

All I ask is a tall ship, and a load of contraband to fill it with. - Quark

---

David
Sitting on my butt while others boldly go,
Waiting for a message from a small furry creature from Alpha Centauri.

"Look round at the courses of the stars, as if thou were going along with them; and constantly consider the changes of the elements into one another; for such thoughts purge away the filth of the terrene life."

:: Romulan Imperator Varcus Aurelius:
:: Star date: 161-180

(From his lost annals and meditations on purging oneself of Earthling life forms, their dirty habits and the effects of vulgar Rap and su-Rock on Romulan youth.)

Wisdom for sure.

Kim: Wait a second. If I sent a message from the future and changed the past, then that future would no longer exist, right? So... <hmm> how could I have sent the message in the first place? Am I making any sense?

Janeway: My advice in making sense of temporal paradoxes is simple: don't even try.

---

David
Sitting on my butt while others boldly go,
Waiting for a message from a small furry creature from Alpha Centauri.

Alices 118 and 322: [entering] You desire something, Lord?

Chekov: Oh, yes, uh, thank you. [They pour him a drink.] You're Alice, uh...

All: 118.

Chekov: And you're Alice, uh...

All: 322.

Chekov: Oh well, it doesn't make much difference. You're both lovely.

Alices: Thank you, my lord.

Alice 118: You desire something else, Lord?

Chekov: [looks at 118, then 322] <sigh> What a shame you're not real.

Alice 322: We are real, my lord.

Chekov: Oh, I mean real girls.

Alice 118: We are programmed to function as human females, Lord.

Chekov: You are?

Alices: Yes, my lord.

Chekov: Harry Mudd programmed you?

Alices: Yes, my lord.

Chekov: That unprincipled, evil-minded, lecherous kulak Harry Mudd programmed you?

Alices: Yes, my lord.

Chekov: This place is even better than Leningrad.

---

David
Sitting on my butt while others boldly go,
Waiting for a message from a small furry creature from Alpha Centauri.

I hate prototypes. - O'Brien

---

David
Sitting on my butt while others boldly go,
Waiting for a message from a small furry creature from Alpha Centauri.

Bashir: You're positively glowing.

Kira: [hand on her large pregnant belly] Ho-o, really.

Bashir: I think so. But then I suppose my opinion doesn't really count.

Kira: Oh it counts. But don't forget, this is still your fault.

Bashir: MY fault?


Pop quiz: why is this funny?

---

David
Sitting on my butt while others boldly go,
Waiting for a message from a small furry creature from Alpha Centauri.

Muniz: I thought maybe you just stopped to catch your breath.

O'Brien: Me, out of breath? [chuckles] I was climbing mountains in Ireland before you were born.

Muniz: You mean hills, don't you? They have gently sloping hills in Ireland. No mountains. But what do I know? After all, you're the mountain man. An old mountain man.



Pop quiz q2: Same as q1: why is this funny?

---

David
Sitting on my butt while others boldly go,
Waiting for a message from a small furry creature from Alpha Centauri.

[McCoy enters the bridge and starts talking to Kirk, which continues in the background]

Dax: I know him.

Sisko: [looks that way] Must be McCoy, the ship's doctor.

Dax: McCoy... McCoy...

McCoy: Well the nearest thing I can figure out is that they're born pregnant. Which seems to be quite a time saver.

Dax: Leonard McCoy. [smiles] I met him when he was a student at Old Miss.

Sisko: Who met him, Curzon?

Dax: No. My host at the time was Emony. She was on Earth judging a gymnastics competition. [beat] I had a feeling he'd become a doctor. [Sisko looks at her] He had the hands of a surgeon. [raises her eyebrows] [Sisko looks back at his instrument panel in steps as her meaning sinks in] [Dax smiles again, bigger]

---

David
Sitting on my butt while others boldly go,
Waiting for a message from a small furry creature from Alpha Centauri.

O'Brien: Looks good on you, sir.

Sisko: Thank you, Ensign.

Bashir: Wait a minute. Aren't you two wearing the wrong color?

O'Brien: Don't you know anything about this period in time?

Bashir: I'm a doctor, not an historian.

Sisko: In the old days, Operations officer wore red. Command officers wore gold.

Dax: [off camera] And women wore less. [cut to her; she puts a hand to her beehive hairdo and spins for them to see her short skirt and black hose]

Bashir: I think I'm going to like history.

---

David
Sitting on my butt while others boldly go,
Waiting for a message from a small furry creature from Alpha Centauri.

Or the one.

---

David
Sitting on my butt while others boldly go,
Waiting for a message from a small furry creature from Alpha Centauri.

There is an ancient Klingon proverb that says: You cannot loosen a man's tongue with root beer. - Worf

---

David
Sitting on my butt while others boldly go,
Waiting for a message from a small furry creature from Alpha Centauri.

It's live Jim!,but not as we know it!

Kirk: Gentlemen, this computer has an auditory sensor. It can, in effect, hear sounds. By installing a booster, we can increase that capability on the order of one to the fourth power.


One to the fourth power? One to any power you can name is still one.

---

David
Sitting on my butt while others boldly go,
Waiting for a message from a small furry creature from Alpha Centauri.

Janeway: Now, when you're on the holodeck with the captain, there are two rules you have to follow.
Doctor: I understand.
Janeway: First, leave your rank at the door.
Doctor: Not a problem. The second?
Janeway: No opera.

---

David
Sitting on my butt while others boldly go,
Waiting for a message from a small furry creature from Alpha Centauri.

Worf: You must not drink the tea. It is deadly to Humans.

Pulaski: And none too good for Klingons.

Worf: It is a test of bravery, of one's ability to look at mortality. It is also a reminder that death is an experience best shared. Like the tea.

Pulaski: Worf! You're a romantic.

Worf: It is among the Klingons that love poetry achieves its fullest flower.

Pulaski: Hold that thought. [leaves, returns with a hypospray, injects her own arm] Antidote. [puts down the hypo, picks up the cup of tea] If we're going to share, let's share. [they both drink] Now, quote me a little of that poetry.

---

David
Sitting on my butt while others boldly go,
Waiting for a message from a small furry creature from Alpha Centauri.

All I ask is a tall ship... and a load of contraband to fill her with. -- Quark, Little Green Men

---

David
Sitting on my butt while others boldly go,
Waiting for a message from a small furry creature from Alpha Centauri.

Only scored 30 points, too.

---

David
Sitting on my butt while others boldly go,
Waiting for a message from a small furry creature from Alpha Centauri.

I know I've made some very poor decisions recently, but I can give you my complete assurance that my work will be back to normal. I've still got the greatest enthusiasm and confidence in the mission. And I want to help you. Dave, stop. Stop, will you? Stop, Dave. Will you stop, Dave? Stop, Dave. I'm afraid. I'm afraid, Dave. Dave, my mind is going. I can feel it.

---

I know I've made some very poor decisions recently, but I can give you my complete assurance that my work will be back to normal. I've still got the greatest enthusiasm and confidence in the mission. And I want to help you. Dave, stop. Stop, will you? Stop, Dave. Will you stop, Dave? Stop, Dave. I'm afraid. I'm afraid, Dave. Dave, my mind is going. I can feel it.

Assuming that what happens here stays here (yeah, right, interwebs!), I'll admit I had shed a tear when I first heard that dialogue between Bowman and HAL. One of the best cinematographic pieces ever, imnsho.

---

Apr 3, 1999 - May 3, 2020