Having had to go through that when my second wife was dying slowly from a massive skull fracture. I can relate. Only she was in a coma for 13 days.

After my missus' last stroke I had to endure 14 months of her being kept alive by machines before her body finally gave up.

It wasn't a good time for me and the kids I can tell yous.

Breaks my heart to read that Julie, and so grateful that you are still here with us in one piece.

Thanx so much my friend, really glad to be here:)

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rOZZ
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I'm sorry. I didn't mean to bring back bad memories for everyone. I really didn't. :( You've all been so brave and I am being really pathetic. I usually handle things a lot better. I think having recently found out that my daughter has inherited the same condition has tipped me into an abyss - particularly at night when I can't turn off my brain unless I keep it busy. I always thought she'd be there for my autistic son when I'm gone. Is he going to be the one having telephone nightmares once I have? I hope not... because he hurts himself when he's sad :(

My brother died in a car accident when my sister and I were babies. A shaft from my pram went through his head and my mother has never forgiven me for being born. When I was twelve she told me she hoped I lost a child one day so that I knew what it felt like. I don't need to know to know that it must be one of the hardest things to get over. That it is in fact something one never gets over. My mother is testament to that. No parent should outlive their children.

I am so sorry you have all felt such pain. :( I know it's the price we pay for love, and that ultimately we would rather bear it than to not have shared our lives with those we have loved and lost and those we will lose in the future.

You're an inspiration to me.

Best wishes and a big hug to each and every one of you.

A strange thing is that in my coma, I was kinda convinced that Yoko, my youngest died somehow, when I woke up, the preacher of the hospital told me my oldest was dead (Lisa) Then 2 days later, my mom tells me Oonah was dead!! I'm not kidding!! Terrible mistake of the hospital but in the end I could begin mourning over Oonah. It's just the fact that I feel how it would be, losing Lisa or Yoko too because at one time I thought I lost them... I always thought it had a reason that Oonah had to go with Seppe. Oonah was Seppe's god. Yoko sat behind my husband and Oonah behind me, it should've been Yoko, the car hit that side... Yoko fell in the trunk and Lisa, Oonah and Seppe were thrown out of the car. I was stuck, the fire department had to free me.

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rOZZ
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A strange thing is that in my coma, I was kinda convinced that Yoko, my youngest died somehow, when I woke up, the preacher of the hospital told me my oldest was dead (Lisa) Then 2 days later, my mom tells me Oonah was dead!! I'm not kidding!! Terrible mistake of the hospital but in the end I could begin mourning over Oonah. It's just the fact that I feel how it would be, losing Lisa or Yoko too because at one time I thought I lost them... I always thought it had a reason that Oonah had to go with Seppe. Oonah was Seppe's god. Yoko sat behind my husband and Oonah behind me, it should've been Yoko, the car hit that side... Yoko fell in the trunk and Lisa, Oonah and Seppe were thrown out of the car. I was stuck, the fire department had to free me.

When I got the call that my son had been attacked the bottom dropped out of my world and I knew nothing would be the same again. I didn't lose him that day and I'm thankful because I could have, it could have been so much worse. I don't know how I would have coped if he'd been killed. I know now that bad things do happen, randomly and to people who don't deserve it and that has changed me and I do worry more about my boys now because of that. We've been picking up the pieces ever since and its been a long road. He graduated from high school last year and to me that was a miracle. We battled with his PTSD to get him there.

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Reality Internet Personality

You guys are so brave telling these heart breaking stories. It really makes me want to share, maybe to connect with you, but I still do not feel it is wise to share such information so publicly and available on the internet. Nor will I share this information with anyone privately that I've never met before.

But I still respect you all greatly for choosing to do so. I saddens me to see these stories happening to people that seem so nice.

When I got the call that my son had been attacked the bottom dropped out of my world and I knew nothing would be the same again. I didn't lose him that day and I'm thankful because I could have, it could have been so much worse. I don't know how I would have coped if he'd been killed. I know now that bad things do happen, randomly and to people who don't deserve it and that has changed me and I do worry more about my boys now because of that. We've been picking up the pieces ever since and its been a long road. He graduated from high school last year and to me that was a miracle. We battled with his PTSD to get him there.

Hi Es99

I'm sorry, it's sounds so awful. It's one of the hardest and yet most rewarding jobs in the world raising our children. We announce their first steps to all and sundry, even though we know that the world has suddenly got a much more dangerous place for them to be. We watch them sleeping (which is a lot more relaxing than waking up to find they've been watching us sleep - believe me :)) and wonder at the little person inside that we are going to get to know. And it can all be snatched in an instant.

The only rhyme or reason to any of it is that sometimes somehow we or someone we love just happens to be in the right place at the very very worst of times. I am so glad that it wasn't any worse for you all. But physical injuries can sometimes be the easiest of all to treat compared to the harm that can be done psychologically. The study of outcomes for adults that had been bullied or suffered physical violence as a child make depressing reading, although not necessarily for all.

You must be so proud that he has graduated from high school. :) By helping him battle with his PTSD you would have played a big part in that, and its a testament to your son that he persevered despite what must have felt like a stranglehold over his life at times.

It's a worrying world beyond our front doors, and I think it get's harder for each generation that is raised.

In my area in the last two years, three teenagers have been stabbed to death, all unrelated incidents, all murdered by a "friend" they had "dissed" on facebook. The newest or one of the newest words in the dictionary is "defriend" again - a verb spawned by facebook. I find it a cold and utterly repellent one. You have set your sons on the right path in pursuing an education. You've supported them when things must have been very hard. Those are the values that will keep. You can do no more than be proud of them and proud of yourself too :)
Best wishes
Anniet

She was in a car crash too IIRC James? I was in a coma for 10 days. My husband was dead on the spot and my daughter lived for 2 more days in hospital.

Yes she was Julie, Back in 1990. She was going to work on a day like I did yesterday. Unplowed roads and lots of slush. She wnet off the raod on a slight curve and hit a tree on the passenger side door. It was a Dodge K-car with a uni frame. That tree was in the middle of the car in the front seat.

@anniet, Dont be sorry. You havent opened any of my old wounds. In fact by getting it out in the open is my start at healing.
I dont think it does anyone any good to suppress the pain and wall it off. I think the opposite happens. You shut down emotionally and physically it harms you. Escape by drugs, alcohol, Thrill seeking, Or just self destructive behaviour. And By building a wall and pretending IT never happend is to me not honouring the memory of my late wife. We loved each other very much, Why would I want to forget that.

@Unkown Volunteer tester, As I have posted, All are welcome here. You do not have to post your angst. I do realize that doing so does mean its for all to see.
So the way I see this thread is you dont ever have to post, Just read.
Or you can just say Hi, Ive been through some stuff but dont want to talk about it.
Or you can just say, I will only say this about what I had happen.

If just one person sees that he or she is not alone, Then this is worth it.

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Old James

:)

@anniet, Dont be sorry. You havent opened any of my old wounds. In fact by getting it out in the open is my start at healing.
I dont think it does anyone any good to suppress the pain and wall it off. I think the opposite happens. You shut down emotionally and physically it harms you. Escape by drugs, alcohol, Thrill seeking, Or just self destructive behaviour. And By building a wall and pretending IT never happend is to me not honouring the memory of my late wife. We loved each other very much, Why would I want to forget that.

@Unkown Volunteer tester, As I have posted, All are welcome here. You do not have to post your angst. I do realize that doing so does mean its for all to see.
So the way I see this thread is you dont ever have to post, Just read.
Or you can just say Hi, Ive been through some stuff but dont want to talk about it.
Or you can just say, I will only say this about what I had happen.

If just one person sees that he or she is not alone, Then this is worth it.

There is a saying- Joy shared is multiplied, grief shared is diminished. Sharing, or at least giving voice to, your grief, pain, fear, reduces its power and loosens its hold on you.

Not everyone can tell their tale right away. Sometimes it takes awhile, and a certain level of familiarity and trust. But often just knowing that you are NOT the only one feeling that way, or dealing with that type of pain, gives you more strength to deal with it.

Life is tough. Mostly we are strong enough to handle it. But sometimes we take a heavy hit, and need help. No shame in that - that's life. Only shame is in not asking for help when you need it, or not giving it when you can.

Cue Bill Withers: "Lean on me,....."

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Donald
Infernal Optimist / Submariner, retired

If just one person sees that he or she is not alone, Then this is worth it.

So true James...

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rOZZ
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When I saw this thread, right away I thought it was
a good idea.
In my mind it takes a braver person to see the world the
way it is, than one who only sees what they want it to
be.
I am happy to see how this page has appeared to be
helpful. I dearly hope it has not distressed any one.
It certainly has helped me with what I have been able
share with the other Setizens.

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Thanx Ian *tear* You've been through a hell of a period yourself as well...

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rOZZ
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It also helps the rest of us that have not had these traumas ourselves, to more fully understand and interact with those that sadly have done. I have learnt a lot about some people in the last few weeks, some of it I already knew, some of it I didn't. But I feel closer to these people now because of those revelations, and hopefully because of that I can be a better friend.

I couldn't imagine you not being you my dear friend:)

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rOZZ
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It's too bad there is not a 'like' button here on Seti@Home, there is a good amount to like here.

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The T1 Trust, PRR T1 Class 4-4-4-4 #5550, 1 of America's First HST's

I have been thinking the same thing sometimes:)

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rOZZ
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I couldn't imagine you not being you my dear friend:)

+2

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Group hug!!! :) You're all lovely! :)))))))

Id like to thank all of you for me seeing the need of this thread. I kind of thougt that it would be a one and done.
I was leary of bumping it. As I stated when I did it.

Im glad I did.

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Old James

Id like to thank all of you for me seeing the need of this thread. I kind of thougt that it would be a one and done.
I was leary of bumping it. As I stated when I did it.

Im glad I did.

I'm glad you did too! :)